Thursday, January 31, 2008

Team India go kick lots of Aussie A****

After Bhajji's hearing on Tuesday, all of us - Indians - heaved a sigh of relief and were jubliant. But OZ media played spoilsport like their team. It is hard to believe that the very same media who was backing Bhajji up after the Sydney test are the ones who say that Hansen's verdict is crap and its a "pressure n money" verdict coz of BCCI.

Thats just utter crap! Why cant they, both the Australian team and the Media face it that we got what we deserved? Is it too hard for them to face the fact that we are now giving back as good as we get? They just crying like babies.

Why are the Australians and even a few other former english players forgetting that Symonds the MONKEY!!) was the one to start the verbal assault?? Bhajji just retorted back like any other human being. But here lies the problem, the aussies are just stuck-up snobs who refuse to be beaten at their own game - be it Cricket or sledging! And that too coming from an Indian. No ways, they are not the ones to sit back and say "Bring it on"

There is evidence from the stump-mic that proves that Symonds (MONKEY) was the initiator of what turned the cricket field to a dirty sledging arena.

They should learn from their mistakes and I hope that Bhajji decides to sue Symonds for defamation. That ought to teach the Aussies a lesson even if this episode hasn't!

Music sharing - legal or illegal?

This is a talk that a few of my friends and me had as part of our first Audio podcasting assignment. Turned out to be quite an interesting discussion. Hope you all enjoy it too.




Click here to get your own player.

My first Podcast

We had this workshop on podcasting today. It was fun n frustrating. Fun coz it was creativity at its best aand we learnt a whole lotta cool stuff that I wldnt have known of or learnt, if not for this wkshop.

Frustrating coz de damn PC i sat on was jus jinxed to quote Unni and James. Firstly de damn Audacity player didnt wk, had to record on a friends laptop. Then got it transferred ONLY to realise the damn Audacity player was a different version than my friend's and hence couldnt do much with the recorded piece. So she converted it to MP3 format. After which I signed up with Podomatic to upload the podcast.. And i'm still waiting for it to be uploaded. Hence the time to post this blog. Once its done, I shall upload my FIRST EVER podcast here.

So wait and listen.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Farmer turns cab driver as crops fail in Cuddalore


Bhaktavatsalam, a vannair farmer from Sakkangudi has sufferred large crop losses due to the rains in 2007. His 12-year-old son, Balaji, studying in the Panchayat Union School looks on.


Cuddalore: 38-year-old R Bhaktavatsalam, a Vanniar, (a Most Backward Caste), owns six acres of land, that he owned from is father 20 years ago, in Saakangudi, a village in the Keerapalayam block, where he cultivates paddy. But for the last five years, he works as a cab driver with a local travel company to meet the increasing cost of living. He has three children – two sons and one daughter, all of whom are studying.
His farm land is at a one kilometer walk from his house, near the dalit colony of the village. He hires labourers to do the manual work, but he decides on what seeds to sow and what fertilizers are needed. He said, “I do all the administrative work and the physical work is left for the coolies.” Bhaktavatsalam, along with other farmers of this village, who cultivate mainly sugarcane and paddy, faced crop losses due to the heavy rains last December.

Has the government given you any compensation for the crops that were affected during the rains this year?
No, we haven’t got any compensation yet. Our Panchayat leader has told us that the inspection officers from the Central Government will be coming before Pongal. They will check our records and inspect our fields. Then,only if they see it necessary/ will we get any compensation. But the rains were in November-December, so by the time they come here, there will be nothing left of the havoc caused by the rains last year for them to see. So then how do we get our compensation?

What happened in the previous years after the floods? Did you get any compensation?
The last time I got compensation was in 2005. That year the rains were heavy and I lost out on most of my paddy. While I was paid only Rs 2000 for my loss. I incurred a loss of about Rs 45,000, inclusive of all the fertilizers and pesticides I bought. That year was the worst; I had to take a loan of Rs 10,000 the next year to buy seeds and fertilizers.

How did you cope with the living costs after your loss?
I earn Rs 3500 a month as a cab driver. I had to live with that. At least we had some food on the table; my neighbors suffered a fate far worse than me.

What’s the quantity of seeds you buy every year and where do you buy them?
Per acre I sow 45 kgs of rice seeds. Thirty kilograms of rice seeds cost me Rs 400. I buy it from a co-operative society. We have one in every village. I buy the PPT variety of rice as it is the tolerant variety. (PPT is a herbicide called Phosphinotricin. A variety of rice called Oryza Sativa. L, which is tolerant to the herbicide, has been produced.)



Have you bought seeds from the government? If so, have you been given any subsidies?
No, every time we go to the Keerapalayam Panchayat they say that there are no seeds. They say the same for fertilizers. So we always buy all that we need from the co-operative society. It is not that they give us any discount, but at least we get good seeds.



What is the germination of these seeds?
I get 75 per cent germination. But this year due to the floods caused by rains, my crops were affected. A bag contains 10-15 kgs of rice Usually I get 20 bags of rice, but this year I may get just 12 bags.





How many labourers you employ on your fields and what are the wages do you pay?
I have 15 people who work for me - 11 men and four women. The men are paid Rs 100 per day and the women are paid Rs 50.



Why such a large difference between the wages, don’t the women demand more?
(Laughs) The women do not do as much manual work as the women. They are physically weaker, so the work done is less, that’s why I pay them less. They don’t ask for more because this is how it has been all these years and this is how it will remain.

Customs keep mother away from child


In isolation: Senyami with her nine-day old daughter, Jayalakshmi. Following old customs, Senyami's mother-in-law makes her sit in the corner of the house for 40 days, till she compltes her menstrual cycle.


Cuddalore: Senyami, a 40-year-old woman from the Irula community in Kaliangar Nagar could not reach the hospital in time for her delivery of her seventh child. She was washing clothes at home, when her water broke. Since the nearest government hospital is 5 km away in Killai, she had to deliver her baby at home with the help of her mother-in-law.



It has been nine days since she her daughter Jayalakshmi's birth; yet Senyami sits in the corner of her two-room house isolated from her family and children. Following customs that one believed were long forgotten, nobody touches Senyami and Jayalakshmi, as they haven’t bathed. Senyami said, “On the twentieth day, we both will take a bath. Then her grandmother will look after Jayalakshmi till I complete my 40 days in isolation. Only then I will be allowed to reclaim the responsibility of my house.”



Until Senyami completes her 40 days of isolation, her new born will not be breast-fed. She was unaware of the fact that her milk could dry up or that after some time it would not have anti-bodies which are crucial for the baby's immune system. She has four children who are below the age of five and need her care. When her two-year-old son cried and ran to her for comfort, his grandmother held him back as his mother was considered impure.



At times her eldest daughter, Raji who is an IX Std. student at the corporation school, had to act as surrogate mother for her siblings. She hasn’t attended school this term, which began in January, as she was needed at home to help her mother. Raji said, “My mother needs me. She cannot help my younger brothers and sisters because of her current condition. I bathe and feed them. I have to look after them so that they don’t run into the fields close by.” She also added, “Once my mother is allowed to do so, I shall go back to school.”





Senyami and her family of ten members earn Rs 300 a month. The family depends on the meagre income of her husband, who works as a driver (a person who grinds rice to flour) at a rice mill in Killai. Her mother-in-law is too old to work and Senyami herself works only during the harvesting season earning Rs 35 per day. This year she couldn’t work due to her pregnancy. The family live on Rs 10 a day, which is Rs 2 below poverty line (BPL) and the money is used to buy one-liter milk for the entire family every day. She said, “We add water to the milk so that we have enough for everyone. We buy Ponni rice from the ration shop or sometimes my husband gets it as wages from the mill. The pulses that cost Rs 2 at the ration shop have stones. But we cannot afford anything better.”





Sterilisation was never an option for Senyami. But after her third delivery that was cesarean, the fear of injections and operating theatres was infused in her. Her seventh delivery and increasing financial problems has showed her that the greater fear is that of dying of hunger. As soon as she is physically fit, she plans to go to the government hospital and get herself sterilized.

Flaws foil NREGA in Cuddalore


Women working at the NREGA site in Kokupalayam village in Panruti block. They were laying a Kucha road that leads to the burial ground of the Most Backward Caste. Photo: Ranjani Rajendra
Cuddalore: The National Rural Employment Guarantee Act – 2005 (NREGA) came into effect on Feb.2 2006. Cuddalore district in Tamil Nadu was one of the 200 districts where the National Rural Employment Guarantee Scheme (NREGS) was adopted for the first phase. Two years since and the scheme is still in its nascent stage.The Act states that applicants should be given their job cards within 15 days of registering at the village Panchayat. And if this is not adhered to, the applicants should be paid ‘unemployment wages’ till the date of employment. But in Chinnakomati village of the Parangipettai Town Panchayat, over one-fourth of the households that the Digantik team visited, were unaware of the unemployment wages. The survey was part of a social audit conducted on behalf of District Collector, Cuddalore, Rajendra Ratnoo.
Numerous discrepancies regarding records surfaced during the course of the audit. In Pallipadai village, according to the NREGA registers with the Panchayat, the job cards seem to have been handed out a month or two before the card holder had applied. The applicants were not even issued the counterfoil receipts that they should be given on application for a job card.
The other problem was that people did not get the minimum 100 days of work promised under the Act. Most families get only 40 days of work on an average. The reason given by government officials was the arrival of the monsoons or the lack of work. Most of the work done under the NREGA is desilting of irrigation channels, renovation of existing ponds and formation of earthen roads. Work under the NREGA could be of any kind that excludes the use of machinery. Hence the officials, including the Block Development Officer (BDO) J. Natarajan said that allotment of work is not possible during the rains. Although many people testified that the NREGS was highly beneficial for them and they would like to continue with it, it has gone unnoticed by the officials.
Yet another drawback was that not all the labourers seemed to be aware of their rights and the provisions under the Act. As a result they did not know that they could go to the Gram Sabha and put forth their demands regarding NREGA projects. Even though the Gram Sabha decides on the work to be taken up, the sarpanch and other panchayat officials have the last word.
Most people who have registered and are given job cards do not work from mid-September to end of December. During January the landless labourers prefer to work on the fields as they earn more doing agricultural work. The NREGA in Cuddalore gives a daily wage of Rs 80 per individual , whereas the farm workers get Rs 100 per day. The government also ensures that no work is given during the harvesting season. This is another reason why the subscribed 100 days of work is not adhered to.
Another discrepancy that came to light was the fact that the labourers did not always earn the promised Rs 80 a day because they had not completed their share of work. The women in the region claimed that the work involved backbreaking tasks and due to this they often lose out on full pay. At the NREGA site in Kokupalayam village, Panruti block, several workers said they received only Rs 60 on an average. Technical assistant, Alamelu,said that they calculated the work completed by the entire group. If one individual in the group hadn’t completed the work given to him/her, the entire group lose out on their wages. The time duration taken to pay the workers money was also a source of concern. According to the Act, they should be paid their wages within seven days of them working, but this rule too has been flouted. Most people were paid after a month of them working on the site.
There have also been numerous cases of ‘ghost’ workers. In a number of cases the applicants’ photographs were missing from the records, which was essential to prevent fake cards from being issued. In other cases, fewer job cards being issued to a family than had been applied for. In Chinnakomati , most of the application forms that were in possession of the Panchayat were not dated. So there was no way to check when an applicant had submitted the form and, when and if the applicant had been given the job card on time.

Despite claims that measures were being taken to ensure proper implementation of the NREGA, which has tremendous potential, the numerous discrepancies that surfaced during our social audit showed otherwise.

Pattas no panacea: Irula sore with leaky roofs


Watery settlement: The 165 Irula houses in Kalaignar Nagar, constructed by the government with the help of NGO CREED, have rain water stagnation. This is due to the lack of proper drainage system provided at the settlement.
Cuddalore: The 165 Irula families, living in the Kalaingar Nagar of the Killai Block for the past three decades, are now burdened with maintenance and, electricity bills, health problems due to stagnant water and the lack of drinking water, thanks largely to post-tsunami housing programme. Earlier, they were living in kachcha houses made of thatched roofs and mud walls.
The Government and the Centre for Rural Education and Economic Development (CREED), and NGO completed the construction of these 165 houses, over six acres of land, by the end of 2006. The Irulas were also given pattas (land deeds) for their houses. Each housing unit is built over an area of 350 square feet at the cost of Rs 1.5 lakh, consisting of a small room that is also used as a common room, a kitchen, bed room and an attached toilet cum bathroom.
Block Development Officer (BDO) of Portonovo, P. Natarajan said, “This community was a second line victim of the tsunami. Water seeped into their houses, destroying them. We sought this opportunity to build houses for them.”
While the settlement, from a distance looks like a neat row of houses with cement roads, a closer look reveals stagnant water and a lack of a drainage. Residents complain of mosquitoes and other insects. A kilometer into the settlement and the cement road ends with 40 houses and the primary school where the Irula children study, without access. A resident, Rani, said, “We have asked both the government and the NGO repeatedly to complete the road on this stretch. They do not pay any heed to us. During the rains our children have to walk through the muddy waters to go to school.” Not surprisingly, most children skip school during heavy rains.The interior of the houses is also in a pathetic condition. Each house was provided with one bulb and one tube light, but in most cases either one or both do not work. A fisherman residing here, Ramalinga, said, “We are provided with electricity only from 6 pm to 10 am everyday. I have taken the bulb from the entrance of my house and fixed it inside as the tube light does not work.”
In addition are problems like leaking ceilings during the rains - a result of the poor maintenance of the houses. People complain they do not earn enough to feed themselves and cannot afford repairs. Another resident, Pushpa, said, “My husband earns only Rs 50 a day by selling fish. We barely have enough to feed our children. Adding to that they (the government) expects us to pay for the maintenance? Why can’t they do it?”
An anthropology student freelancing with CREED, Stefan Inglin, said, “While building the houses, the government did not consult the residents. They did not think of how the people would maintain the houses. They just built the houses with the intention of giving the Irulas a house.” He further added, “Even though the Irulas were given bulbs and tube lights, they have to foot the electricity bill.”
The Irulas refuse to use the toilets attached to their houses as they believe that the water used in the toilets is what they would get for their other household chores like cooking, drinking. The Director of CREED, Nadanasabhapathy, said, “We have provided them with two septic tanks, yet they refuse to use the toilets. What can we do?”
Drinking water is another problem that the community faces. Every house has been provided with a hand pump, but not all work. For every four water pumps, only one is functioning. People have to use their neighbours’ pumps. Rani said, “We have told the panchayat president innumerable times about this problem, but nothing has been done to solve it.” Neither the BDO nor the NGO commented on this. Nadanasabhapathy said, “Ensuring continuous water supply is not our job. The Panchayat has to do something about it.”


Being given a patta for their house has not solved the problem of the Irula tribe, instead, it has raised more complicated issues of maintenance and basic amenities.

Samiyarpettai’s fishing woes


Fishy tale: (From left) Rajendra, Subramani, Narayana and Vella, fishermen in Samiyar Pettai, removing their day's catch of Sardines from the fishing nets. Rajendra's mother Kasima (sitting in the centre) sorts the fishes for sale.


Samiyar Pettai: “I want my son to study and earn a better living than me, but I have no money. The banks refuse to give us loans, as we do not have any collateral. We are helpless,” said Subramani, a 55-year-old fisherman. Lack of money for education coupled with the problem of dwindling fish catch is cause of concern for the fishing community in Samiyar Pettai. Many of the fishermen are in debt.

Samiyar Pettai is a small fishing hamlet in the Portonovo block in Cuddalore, with a population of 2215. During the tsunami 24 lives were lost along with boats, motors and fishing nets. The fishermen were given token amounts of Rs 2000 to Rs 4000 by the government, but this was not enough to piece their lives back together. It’s been three years since the tsunami struck this village but the government refuses to pay heed to the villagers’ problems.

Rajendra, a 54-year-old fisherman said, “I lost my boat and nets during the tsunami. The government gave us boats but no motors. I am using my old motor. The amount given for our nets were not sufficient. We had to pay from our own pockets.” A new engine would approximately cost him Rs 40,000, which he said was unaffordable. He added, “We do not catch enough fish to even pay for our diesel. We earn Rs 50 per day and our monthly income is Rs 2000. We are in debt to meet our diesel costs.” Due to this a few fishermen prefer taking their thoni (small wooden boats traditionally used by fishermen) as it means lesser fuel costs.
Nahgayam is 50-years-old and she sells her husband’s catch in the market. She said, “The last two days we got good catch and we earned Rs 100 a day. But during the storms, when the sea is rough, the men cannot venture out and hence we do not earn for days.” She also added that during the 45-day ban imposed by the government between March and April, the fishermen are deprived of their livelihood. They do not have any alternative work during this period. The fisher folk are left with no choice but to dry the fish caught previously and sell the dried fish. Some of them make fish pickle, but the market for this is not very good.

The fishermen do not want their children to take up their profession, as they see no future in it. They are doing all they can to ensure that their children get good education. Even this is a burden for many, as they do not have the money to educate their children beyond the XII Std. Subramani, who took over his father’s thoni at the age of 15 said, “My son is studying in the XII Std. I want him to do engineering, but colleges are demanding Rs. 5 lakh just for reserving a seat. Other fees are additional.” He lamented that he could not get any loans from banks, as he had no collateral.

Four hundred fisher folk like Nahgayam have registered under the National Rural Employment Guarantee Act, 2005 (NREGA). But this too has its own problems, as the fisher folk are allotted work irregularly. They work in the mornings at the NREGA site and come back by three in the afternoon. After which they eat and go fishing in the sea by six in the evening. But there are also fishermen like Rajendra and Vella who say that digging up roads and desilting ponds was not what their forefathers did and hence neither would they. Despite the problems faced by them while fishing, they are adamant about not doing any onshore work like digging. Rajendra emphasised, “We are not educated and hence there is no chance of us getting another job. But we will not do manual work.”

It's Up!

After two weeks of working our butt off, our site is up. http://www.digantik.com/

It's pretty cool if I say so myself. The design team has done a brilliant job and the edit team has done it too.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

MISSION COMPLETION

I know its been a long time since I posted a blog, but cant help it. Life has been hell for the past one week.

We have been working 13 hours a day on getting our site ready. And all the hard work and tension has finally caught up with both the edit and site design teams. With tempraments changing as fast as F1 races and tempers rising, we have made lab 3 and lab 4 our homes. MJ trying to keep every one calm and collected and getting haggled herself.

Just cant wait for the site to be completed and uploaded tomorrow. After that a respite until the next gruelling work shop on multimedia begins next week.

Yes i shall blog a detailed account of my deprivation trip with lots of opinions over the weekend. And my articles too will be up on the blog. But please do visit our site, coz u have many more stories there.

Link to the site once its uploaded.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Indian’s back to barbaric times

The attack on the NDTV office in Ahemdabad for conducting a Bharat Ratna poll that included M.F Hussian shows how intolerant the Indian society is becoming. Being nominated for the poll was the reason for the barbarism being unleashed.

Cowardice is most suited to explain the character of the attackers. Why would any one who believes in what they are fighting for/against take up the disguise of anonymity. Or even worse, a mob? Why not stand up for what you believe in? If one strongly condemns the ‘Bharat mata’ painting by M.F Hussian, then they are entitled to their opinion. But this does not give them the right to vandalise a person’s property. And only because he was nominated for a poll.

This is not about a Muslim painter, but it is about Muslims at large. What is more intolerable to right wing Hindu activists - The fact that a Muslim dared to paint a ‘Bharat mata’? Or the fact that a Muslim did not understand the sentiments of the Hindus? But why do we forget that these are the same Hindu activists who did not think twice before scorching scores of Muslims only because they sought a place in a country they adopted as theirs after 1947 partition?

Is it wrong for Muslims to think of India s their own? Is it too much for them to ask that they be treated the same way as any other Indian? Why are they discriminated against on religion? India is most intolerant when it comes to caste and religion. We refuse to talk about it in the open, but we practice it in hushed tones.

A recent incident at Modi’s event in Kamaraj Arangam in Chennai was an eye-opener. This taught us that to be a Muslim at a Hindu function is the biggest crime a Muslim can commit in a secular country like India.

Two young Muslim boys who decided to attend the ‘Tuglaq’ magazine event on 14th Jan were in for a rude shock. They were taken to the police station and harassed only because they were Muslims. And one of them was not an Indian, but a neighbouring country’s citizen. The police accused them of being Muslim extremists who might have been at the event to cause communal disharmony.

When will we stop this unjustifiable act of discrimination? We are no different from the Americans when it comes to treating Muslims. The high-handedness and the arrogant way in which we portray that the Indian society seems like it is all about Hindu beliefs.

If a Muslim decides to make his presence be felt in any manner what so ever, he will be gunned down. Like an illegitimate.

Caste Discrimination

P. Sainath has done it again with his article "Discrimination for dummies: V.2008" http://www.hindu.com/2008/01/18/stories/2008011853351000.htm

This is one article that comprehensively talks about caste discrimination at all levels. Be it education, marriage, jobs, reservations, food, water - name it and you have it. It might be hard to digest, what with the neo-youth claiming reservations are not about caste, but merit. But its de truth, we refuse to acknowledge it's caste.

We paint a thick coat of "merit" on everything we do. If thats the case then how many of those who go to the STATES to their masters go on merit?? Is it not because they can afford to pay their Rs 10 lakh (minium) fees?? Even if they don't have the money, how many of them are refused bank loans on the basis of caste?? Not one, cause the lower caste wouldn't even cross the border of their intra-states. How many are refused loans due to lack of collaterals?

Scotty boy proves that all boys are jerks!






Silky black coat on his back with a few stray grey hairs on his head, he sits on the balcony soaking in the hot afternoon sun. Turning his face ever-so-slightly so that the sun doesn't blind his eyes. A few minutes of this and he starts sniffing in the air, bolts from his lazy posture and sprints to the kitchen.

Sitting on the kitchen floor is Kasi amma, shredding the boiled chicken for our dinner kebaabs. She is soon joined by the man with the shiny black coat, and before she knows it, he leaps onto her. She is startled by his behaviour, he has never done this before. This is a first. "Why is he doing this?" asks Kasi amma. The next few minutes happen in fast motion, she doesn't understand what is going on in the Kitchen and with her, until she sees the plate of shredded chicken and the bones on the floor. My dog, Scott, eating it up as though it were quick silver. He, the man with the shiny black coat, was the most well behaved gentleman in my house. Until this day. Mom says its because of his old age. Scott turned 10 on Nov 5, 2007. That should make him old and wise, but he seems to me like a kid. He was better behaved when he was a pup.

He snaps at mom when she reprises him for his bad behaviour. He looks at her, with a mean look in his eyes (replicating the look of a bad-very bad Doberman, well atleast he tries!). He growls and on mom further screaming at him while trying to pull away the lilltle chicken left, he finally goes "snap-bite-snap". Mom is taken aback with his behaviour. She always believed he was the better behaved of her children. My brother gleefully sqeals, "See, I don't snap at you!"
Psst psst, think my lill bro has forgotten all the times that he has snapped at my mom, verbally!

That day Scott didn't get any food. Mom decided that enough was enough. Old age was no excuse for bad behaviour. But that's not where Scott's misbehaviour ended.
As he did not get his lunch, he decided to show his disappointment in my mom. Scott did his poop just outside the balcony, our DINING ROOM! Mom was so furious it's not funny.

Scott was the one man in my life who hadn't proved he was a jerk. But yesterday he did.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Natalia's Reference letter

The day my cousin does ask me to write her a reference letter for her graduation in Forensic Pyschology Crime and Deviance , it will read like this:

My cousin is the most suited person for this course because she is the craziest and most erratic woman in our family. She gets weird mood swings which only she can understand. She understands the pyschology of a dog cause she bites like one. This was after she got bitten by a pomeranian at the age of nine. She got 14 injections and ever since then, she shares an unbreakable bond with them. She is a neo-pyschopath with all the frills of a Forensic Pyschology expert. Nats will be the best person to crack cases. After all her suspects think like her!


Love you Nats, inspite of your crazy whacky self! Mwaaaahhhh.

Cranky, sleepy, murderous and deprived!

Okaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy... I'm suffering from one of my mood swings. Lots of reasons and then again nothing in particular for my mood!

Spent all afternoon listening to Kishore Kumar with a few other friends while writing our stories. Yea, the covering deprivation trip (more details on that when I'm done writing the stories) does that to you. I came back with an allergy (is what I think), but the dermatologist says its an "exaggerated insect bite!". Yea right, thats why I've been itching all over for the last few days?? BULL CRAP! I feel like a tomato field with red boils all over me.

Now for the cranky and sleepy part, add the above reason to the fact that I havent slept well in the past few days. This also for the reason mentioned above. I'm on this weird allergy (insect allergy?? ask the doc!) antibiotic which makes me drowsy at the wrong times. Like for instance, when I have got this sudden urge to write my story and its all flowing through my head. But the left part of my brain argues with the right part and the Winner isssssssssssss the Left! Have a few hundred stories to write and am suffering from WRITER"S BLOCK. Okay. I agree few hundred is pulling it a bit too much, but it's ummmm well you can definitely count them on your fingers! :P

Murderous cause whatever I've written until now is just not acceptable. It has to be revised, re-revised, re-re-revised and then edited and then loads more editing. Argggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. Trust me it sounds much more simpler than it really is!

Deprived - cause I want sleep, I want a non-itchy body and I want Peruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.